I am not the biggest fan of these who are just showing up a perfect world in their social media. Because I think even the struggle can lead to something good. I don't just want to se everything is great, this is beautiful etc, because that is not who I am. I am not afraid of darkness. I think that with my darkness comes even brighter days. I enjoy my days even more, after a while in darkness, because they seem just so bright.
And as a wedding photographer it is just so easy to take the beautiful road, because our job is so beautiful and such a lovely honor. But, I want to be honest, because for a couple of weeks I have had so much anxiety for my work. Not felt that I am good enough, I have one folder on my desk that I couldn't open for days without crying. Because on that shoot I had too high expectations on myself, so I put on to much pressure on myself and tried to be perfect. Not myself, perfect. And then of course I didn't like the pictures, because I wanted so bad for them to be perfect. And who can live up to perfect? And I didn't go inside me self and asked what I thought of them, I was worrying about what everyone else was going to think about them. And who are these everyone? I have no idea. It is just a troll that is getting inside my head sometimes.
So I took some days of. I did nothing. I was reading, listening to music, hanging out with people that I love and had fun. I now I can open the folder without any problems. I actually really like these pictures now. Because they are me. They are not in any way perfect, because I picked a place that didn't suit me, but I like them. Cause every emotion that is in the pictures is what I want to capture. The couple in the pictures looks amazing, they had a wonderful time at the shoot and their love is coming right at me when I look at them. It makes me warm, it makes me love them and the pictures. I just got stucked in my own fears and my own head. So I forgot why I am doing this. I am doing this for them, the loving couples.
FOTOGRAF Rebecca Hansson
Bröllopsfotograf & kärleksfotograf i Stockholm & Karlstad. Samt reser över hela Världen där du finns.